Memories

"This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

If you have children who are grown and gone, in all likelihood you have occasionally felt pangs of loss and the recognition that you didn’t appreciate that time of life as much as you should have. Of course, there is no going back, but only forward. Rather than dwelling on the past, we should make the most of today, of the here and now, doing all we can to provide pleasant memories for the future.


If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us.

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.” 

President Thomas S. Monson "Finding Joy in the Journey", Oct. 2008

Today I was just sitting on the couch kind of dozing off when Ellie came and sat down next to me. I put my arm around her and she cuddled up to me for just a couple minutes. It might sound crazy, but I was so grateful to have that moment that it made me teary eyed. Ellie is not a very cuddly girl, so it was extra special to me. I said a little prayer in my heart that we would both remember that very short and simple moment.

I've been thinking a lot about memories lately. I sometimes worry about what my girls will have memories of. I would guess we are a pretty normal family - we mostly have normal days, and then of course we have some really happy, fun and wonderful days, and occasionally some pretty bad days. I hope my girls don't remember the pretty bad days. And I hope they don't remember me as being anxious and in a hurry all the time. I wonder what moments they will remember and if I'll remember them too. I realize that I've got to do more than just hope for good memories, I've got to actually spend the time making memories and not pushing my children away. I'm sure there will be some bad ones in there - I just hope the good outweigh the bad.

I can only remember snippets of my childhood - like snapshots taken at random moments.

I remember laying in mine and Steph's queen bed with Angela and Ryan and taking turns tickling each other's backs.

I remember Stephanie getting her hand rolled up in Grandma and Grandpa's car window, but she was too embarrassed to say anything to them, so I finally did. She was trying not to cry, but her poor little face was so sad!

I remember playing on the cattle guard at my Grandma and Grandpa Henderson's home. And I loved their tree house!

I remember playing a really cool memory board game at my Grandma and Grandpa Johnson's home. And I remember at my cousin Dustin's wedding, watching he and my Grandma dance (my Grandma was in a wheelchair by that time).

I remember the first time I met one of my best childhood friends, Brooke Hall - I thought she was short :).

I remember Shawna Riddoch and I would collect little trinkets (basically random junk) to give to each other - they were like treasures to us.

I remember having a sleep-over at Natalie and Nicole's home and pretending to be asleep, but then both of them did fall asleep and I was left the only one awake.

I remember Ryan sitting on the front steps outside with some friends trading baseball cards.

I remember Angela hiding in the trunk of the car so that she could come watch me try out for my dance team.

I remember waking up scared in the night and going into Jen's bedroom where she said a prayer with me and comforted me and then let me sleep with her.

I remember taking a picture of Ken and Uncle Albert when Ken got married - it was the first picture I ever took.

I remember holding my Dad's hands and climbing up his legs when he would come home from work.

I remember my Mom trying to show Steph and me how to do some of our dance moves. :)

I love these memories! I wish I had more. I especially wish I had more of my Mom - because I'm a mom now. I've been wondering if and how memories might affect our relationships. And I think I've decided that it's not necessarily the memories that shape a relationship but it's every moment (both remembered and forgotten) that shapes what a relationship will be. So, even though my kids will likely not remember very much from this time in their lives, I've still got to be conscientious in how I interact with them now so that each day can build on the one before until we have the type of adult relationship we want 20 years from now.